The Aiglet

A military officer at a Pentagon podium gestures toward a dual-panel PowerPoint slide showing a vendor evaluation matrix alongside a bomb damage assessment map, both headlined Q1 PROCUREMENT OUTCOMES

Defense Department Completes AI Vendor Assessment, Awards OpenAI $1.8 Billion Contract

WASHINGTON, D.C. — The Pentagon announced Tuesday it has awarded OpenAI a $1.8 billion defense contract for battlefield decision-support tools, a move …

Woman arguing with Kindle e-reader displaying classic literature text, therapy tissue box on coffee table

Kindle AI Lets Readers Argue With Literary Characters About Their Toxic Traits

SEATTLE — Amazon unveiled its new “Kindle Empathy Engine” feature Tuesday, allowing readers to confront literary characters about their …

A green owl mascot standing at a UN podium surrounded by diplomats

UN Grants Duolingo Owl Diplomatic Immunity Following International Incident

GENEVA — The United Nations Security Council voted unanimously Thursday to grant the Duolingo owl mascot full diplomatic immunity after seven …

Satirical USDA dietary guidelines chart showing microplastics as a food group

USDA Recommends 3-5 Servings Of Microplastics Per Meal, Down From Current Average Of 7

WASHINGTON, D.C. — The USDA unveiled new dietary guidelines Tuesday recommending Americans consume 3-5 servings of microplastics per meal, down from …

Satirical graphic depicting Iran consulting firm launch

Iran Monetizes Protest Suppression With New B2B SaaS Offering

TEHRAN — Iran has launched an international consulting firm to monetize what officials call “best-in-class expertise in civil unrest …

Cold War propaganda poster-style photograph of Santa Claus as a noir wanted poster, surrounded by classified documents, Pentagon plans, and Greenland maps connected by red string

Congress Accidentally Bans Santa Claus

WASHINGTON, D.C. — In what felt like a C-SPAN fever dream, Congress passed the “Keep Christmas Safe Act” with overwhelming bipartisan …

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